These seem relevant.

I read the Shana novel in Japanese, and the author’s writing style is unbelievably horrible. It was virtually unreadable. It is entirely possible that what the blogger objected to was in the original as well.

As Simmon pointed out I’ve never read Japanese version and don’t know whether the peculiar style is due to original or by translation. After all I might have had same impression even if reading the book written in Japanese. Just as a individual english book it didn’t impress me personally.

The ironic thing, if I’m parsing this correctly, is that the complaint arises from the translation being too literal, i.e. rigid, which is what American fans nowadays demand because they feel that is more “accurate.” (At least that’s the impression I’m getting, having never looked at the novel…)

Though after reading this, I’m not sure I want to. I’ve kept away from English translated novels from comic companies since I made the mistake of reading Tokyopop’s Slayers adaptation.